THE SECRET DIARY OF CLUELESS NEWBIE #301

Day 1:

Decided to become a writer. Go me!

Day 2:

Whew! Spent the last day reading about new literary movements. Can't write a story until I know the rules. Besides, Momma always told me to worry about proper movement.

Day 4:

Still reading about literary movements. V. confused by the names, tho. Whacko-Space Polka Movement. (Too silly.) Slimy Sludge Literary Movement. (Too wimpy.) Steamed Dumpling Movement. (Too sticky.)

Day 5:

Decided literary movements are v. stupid. Will be daring and unique! Will show everyone that I can think for myself! Will be outrageous curmudgeon just like Harlan Ellison, but taller.

Day 6:

Started a blog to tell everyone what I think about writing. No time for stories, but wrote five posts telling other writers what wieners they are. V. clever.

Day 10:

Ran out of posts for my blog so wrote a story and sent it to Peachy Keen Adventure Tales. Go me!

Day 17:

Stupid Peachy Keen Adventure Tales didn't like my story. What do I care? They are full of boring stories anyway. And someone said they were part of the Slimy Sludge Literary Movement. Movements are for losers who can't think for themselves.

Day 18:

Wrote cool post in my blog about the Slimy Sludge Literary Movement.

Day 22:

Hah! Some twit didn't like what I said about Peachy Keen Adventure Tales. Called me an angry young writer. As if.

Day 23:

Oops. Twit didn't call me angry young writer, just angry.

Kinda like that name, though. The Angry Writer. Guess I better write another post about it.

Day 453:

Still the angriest. Go me!